Greener on the other side...really?

Past midnight, guess I could finally find some time to write…so much for having my topic posted by afternoon!

The saying goes “the grass is always greener on the other side”, and unfortunately there are people, me among them, who support this far more than we should.

Me, for example, each time I see another couple I tend to notice the good things the male significant other does, and how by far their relationship seems to or looks much better than mine…at least in the outside. I have become so frustrated sometimes, that I even focus on what the female partner does wrong, that I don’t (do), and how that doesn’t affect at all the affection they receive from the other person, and for me it doesn’t work the same way… Isn’t this sick?

I guess it is, and although some might go too quickly in classifying this as a mere act of enviousness, I tend to think we all, in one way or another, gravitate toward the belief that our pain is greater than the one suffered by others, or that other people’s situation is better just because they have a better standard of living, better cars, wives, husbands, salaries, you name it.

Yes, just right now, most of you reading this must be thinking “ I have never thought that…ever!” , “I’m not that mean-spirited”, and that’ll be great, but I know a lot of people who might deny this, but deep inside they know, they have thought about this at least once. Don’t get me wrong, I only think about this when it comes to relationships, I couldn’t care less about other people’s material stuff - and that my friends know it’s true-, I’m talking here about a general thought that can encompass a broad amount of subjects.

For instance, there’re those who think that just because you live in Belgium, London, Germany, wherever different from Venezuela (my country), you are simply better than them, without taking in consideration, that for whatever reason that might as well not be the case.

Well, the reality is that, no matter how dandy other people’s lives are, when you look at your own and think how shitty it is in comparison, look closer and start noticing the good in it compared to those who have even less than you do, and you’ll start appreciating and focusing on that, instead of wasting time in lamenting what you lack of…believe me, there is always somebody out there in a worst situation than yours.

For starters, don't take for granted your health, you don't want to know about having issues with it, always remember that without it, there's nothing, and I mean nothing !

As for me, I’m reaching for my better judgment and good sense whenever those pervasive thoughts about "better couples" come to my mind, first and foremost because that only makes the distance from what you have and what you expect much further, almost unattainable, and because we are all different, and there’s good and bad in all of us, so there’s no real point in comparing.

I do think, on the other hand, that we can learn from the people and situations around us, and pick up what we think is positive in them, giving us a rounder sense of being, providing a different perspective and opening our thinking and eyes to become day by day a better person.

This will be it for now, I guess the end leads me to my next post which will be “To change or not to change” …

Comments more than welcome as usual =)

As ET said it…”Be good”

AG

Oh boy...since I was fired, contrary to popular belief, I haven't had the time to write anything !

House, baby, baby, house...

Coming up "Greener on the other side? Really?" ...that'll be the tittle to my next topic, will do my best to have it done by this afternoon.

AG

On getting fired

I am not feeling particularly inspired today, but I do want to get into the habit of posting something daily or at least every other day; otherwise the few people who –I hope- will visit the site will stop doing it if there’s nothing new in days…isn’t that how these things work?

On the other hand, given yesterday’s events is not like I don’t have material to write about…yesterday, once again, for the third time in a row, I was fired; for my own comfort, it was under the same circumstances as the previous occasions…cause: downsizing, in a meeting room: full, with all my colleagues receiving the same news. Not that this makes things easier on anybody, but at least you know it was not purely based on your performance, or lack of it.

I have this brainstorming going on in my mind about the amount of importance people tend to give to their jobs, how much of their lives is dedicated to it, neglecting some of the things that really matter in life…or am I going to far in generalizing what the priorities for everybody should be, and my values are truer and more significant than those who find absolute reward in their jobs? Nope...not by any means.

I don’t want to sound self-righteous, this is just my insight on how I see the “corporate world”; the “great team”, “you are doing brilliant”, “keep on the good work”, among so many other memorable one-liners.

Don’t fool yourself, no matter how important your position is, how good you are at what you do, nobody is irreplaceable, it might sound harsh, but nobody said the truth was always nice to hear…Think about it this way, if you don’t go to work tomorrow, the company will not fall apart, they will manage to find somebody who’ll take over your daily tasks. Am I saying this because I’m bitter about getting fired? Absolutely not, those who know me (me referring to the eternal cynic), know it’s been a longtime since I think this way, which is why I always took my job very lightly. Not that I was a reckless employee, of course not, if your job is your bread and butter, you must at least be true to yourself , have some ethic and be responsible, but not to the extent where you sacrifice your family, or any aspects of your life over your job, that’s where I see –unfortunately- so many people go wrong.

I’ll take my ex-boss as an example, a lady so dedicated, doing extra hours all the time, never –and I mean NEVER- taking one day off sick, in three years I was there, focusing insanely in, what I considered meaningless, details. She kept all documents read-only, fearing people would mess them, and just in the blink of an eye, after thirteen years, she gets a kick on the but, nice working with you hand shake.

Today, who cares about those documents? Who cares about her dedication, about her constancy…can you believe she even halted her holidays once, just because our boss from London was going to come to Brussels?? How crazy is that? he didn’t even talk to her!!!

Don't get me wrong it's a great achievement in life what you can do professionally, but perspective is everything; being there for your family, for yourself, and not always postpone it, because you have "too much work" ... at least to me, those are the things you take with you at the end of your life, not an important job title or having been in a room full of guys talking about projects and making them sound better than life, when it's pure blah blah.

Well, as I always say, if that makes them happy…so be it; and of course not everybody, thankfully, has to go through this less than comfortable experience, some people do manage to start in one company and be there forever and a day, until their retirement.

There are two scenes from two different movies, that I always think of when trying to explain people my stand in this subject matter; they are Jerry Maguire and About Schmidt, the first when Jerry gives his speech in front of the whole office, after being fired, with “fish” on his hand, and how people just kept on working as usual the second he stepped inside the elevator. The later, when Jack Nicholson is explaining the new manager, a young graduate, that he is leaving in a box all the documentation about the things he did and implemented so he could take it from there, now that he was retiring, and when he (Jack) leaves the room, the new manager just asks his secretary to throw it into the bin. In a nutshell, as we were told yesterday “the show must go on” =)

I don’t want to be a zealot here, and actually I am realizing now, that my ideas today might sound too trite and commonplace …so bottom line, excesses are never good, n e v e r; so just keep perspective in life, and don’t give much importance to things that are not worth of it, it’s your life and the people you love and who love you, the ones at stake.

Comments will be highly appreciated, and thanks for the posted ones =))

AG

Thanks for sharing your first comment !!

Thanks Maie !! It's very nice, sort of rewarding indeed, to get comments on what one's written. When I went to yours I didn't even know how to post a comment ! And to think that just till yesterday I worked in IT, how ironic is that?!

Coming up my thoughts on getting fired...

Later,

AG

Guess I couldn’t have picked out a more uncomfortable place to take out a piece of paper and start writing this short intro to my blog, than a very overcrowded streetcar, where I can barely move my arms to put some scribbles together. But when you get inspired you just have to go with it, might have been Elliot Smith playing on my iPod…or maybe the great surroundings (people squashed like sardines) –laughs- but I just feel like writing right now.

Anyway, I’ve been a long critic of blogs, and so-called internet spaces - I must confess-, guess I’m a bit old school you know diaries and the like, (I wonder what my friend Maie must be thinking), but when you can barely manage to stretch some minutes of your time in to badly shave your legs, you know, then, that blogs and sharing internet spaces are out of the question. But…my apprehension towards this means of expression – for lack of a better definition- has been bending to something more positive, and after thinking about it for awhile I thought I could actually get some benefit out of it. In great part, my friend Maie was the one who sort of made me look at the “brighter” side of this thing called blogs, and how they serve just fine for those who like to write, to express their ideas and just get them out of their system, so to speak.

Does it mean that with blogs are we all writers? Certainly not. And I am not trying to come across as one in any way, shape or form. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here…I’d be like J.K Rowling making millions per book!...I am just a regular person, with a huge drive to put down in written my rambling thoughts – hence the name of my blog -, and what the heck… if not for a better reason than to vent myself I’ve decided to do this.

My thoughts are often triggered by personal events, things I see as an observer, life itself, and sometimes out of no reason at all…they just come out of the maze of my imagination. Will my friends read this? Will they find it interesting, amusing, helpful? I simply don’t know, I am not doing this targeting a specific audience or aiming anything other than my love for narratives. I hope, nonetheless, to get comments from people reading this, telling me they have either enjoyed it or even that they can relate to some of my posts or that they have laughed out of my absurdity…in the end I am here to please…NOT. (There you go for those who enjoyed Borat!)

My blog won’t be about me talking about things I’ve done on holidays with my family or friends, nothing along those lines. Not that I have anything against it, but it just ain’t my stuff; I might use something out of those experiences to start a topic, but the aim then, will be towards a narrative that can relate to a broaden audience than just to those involved in the situation itself.

I get easily carried away, so this will be it for my intro. Hope you have gotten to this very line…that will already mean a lot to this amateur.

AG