Learning: does it always have to be the hard way?

I had planned to talk about fear, but an early event this morning had me thinking about the learning process, or is it adapting process or am I stepping into the changing process as well?

It all sounds overly complicated, but they are all intertwined and the whole process cannot be possible without applying them all. The saying goes like: "nobody learns from somebody else's experiences", which is true, but sometimes how many times something unpleasant has to happen to us till we decide it's time not to do it anymore or that we need to change our reaction towards that given situation in other to change the outcome?

Answer: I don't know...What can we do? Be drastic? Do we really need to lose the cool to get results? Why does it seem that we learn through regret...If I had the chance again...if I could I'd do it different this time around...If she/he was still here I'd be different...really? Is that so? What the hell don't we think straight at the very moment and realize that we don't know when this moment of regret will come, that we are here now, but in the blink of an eye we might not.

It is indeed a very apocalyptic take on the matter, but that's life, we should not go by it thinking it will last forever, and we'll have thousand years to apologize to our loved ones for some hurt caused. I have totally digress, or maybe not...I basically applying learning to relationships, when we are in corrupted relationships, the whole process of learning loses perspective, and then we are just trapped in deteriorated circles where the way out is sometimes -or maybe for some- to hard to find. So of course, for beginners the trick is not to let it become corroded, but what with the damaged deals, don't we have a chance?

When enough is enough? Which is that defining moment that marks the turning point, does it always have to be a dramatic one? One where regret is all there's left?

Do people change? Can we really adapt? In relationships how many times you need to be reminded of something before you actually realize that what you are doing or the behavior you are opting is causing damage, is it really too difficult to seat down and just digest that it is wrong, it affects your other "half", and it needs to go away in other for the relationship to evolve?? If something is bad it doesn't mean it needs to be bad forever, I believe things can change, but I guess the other person needs to believe that as well, otherwise fuck the learning, fuck the change, and fuck the relationship !

We are all about evolution, and even our relationships at all levels need to evolve, but we need to learn how to adapt and change in a good way for those to grow at the same time that we grow and want and mainly need different things.