A little down, a little up back again !

I guess it's totally acceptable to feel down from time to time, although to be honest I have problems coping with this idea, as if there's someone to know the real reasons for feeling bad, that should be me.

We have all bore our crosses, for some they have been lighter than for others, but painful in their own right upon the person's experience scale. I've felt really shitty, for legitimate reasons, those being having undertaken chemo, going through hair loss, and so on, among many others. I don't mean to sound depressing, but to me those were reeeeal reasons for feeling bad, and not wanting to even wake up in the morning. So after having lived those experiences, it's no wonder that whenever somebody tells me that they feel bad because I don't know... they need money to get a pair of boobs, that they won't go to the beach because they're fat, or they are sad because they are bored to be inside the house because of the rain!@%#^, it gets me thinking "come on! Those are no reasons to be sad!!!"

All those are things you can do something about, but health, that's the only thing you have no control over, or at least only to at some extent. But then again, you cannot be so hard on yourself and people just because you went to a very rough period in life! You and the others have the right to feel shitty for whatever they want !

So, here I am, among the "silly" ones, complaining about whatever there is to complain: the rain, about being here bored, tired of this routine...and I'm not only feeling tired of this loop I'm living in, I feel guilty for feeling this way. Because in the end, I do like my life a lot, and have no complain about being at home raising my great baby, whose by the by, just made the most beautiful sound this very second!, so as I was saying, the only thing I'm sort of complaining about is how much I would like to have a door to do things for myself too.

Like going out in the evenings, to a movie, a drink...whatever. Not all the time, but I would like to have that freedom, I'm a mother (thank God!!) I know, but also a woman, and sometimes this woman inside me, cries out, and wants to get loose, to get dressed, put some makeup on, and hit the road !

Anyways, I'll blame it on the rain (like Mini Vanilly's song), it's all its fault! Let's blame Belgium LOL !!! That's my favorite culprit for just about everything !! jajaja It's not easy being alone in a foreign country I guess...

I'll be fine tomorrow, actually now, after having already vent a bit in here, I just looked to my right hand side, and what do I see? The most beautiful thing God, life could have given me!!! An amazing baby, who makes everything worth it, and daily gives me the best feeling in the world, the greatest reason to wake up in the mornings, and makes me want to get to a hundred years old to see him grow and become a great men (hopefully), and me there helping him in every way I can...all along the way !